|I wasn't stoked about the pink laces, but I've changed them to gray and it looks must less obnoxiousness... why do we (women) care so much how we look when the end result is just a sweaty ball of red faced exhaustion? who knows...|
Okay so the reason I decided to take my life in this direction : Christmas... I know I know most people decide after the holidays to work off that holiday weight and get ready for the summer again and then my the third week in January they've given up... This was not my reason. My dear friend gave me this super cute workout/cool-down jacket for Christmas. I was absolutely horrified when I read the label and it said "LARGE" ... and no it wasn't nice about it and was written in small letters....it was large and bold throwing it in my face that indeed it was a large. After my shock wore off and I calmed down, I almost started crying "even my friends think I'm fat..."
After a few days of leaving it on the table refusing to look at it, I tried it on. . . this again started the emotions rolling because it fit. It hit me that I really was a size large and I realized I hated the way I looked.
After gaining an enormous amount of weight when I hit puberty (I weighted somewhere around the 175 range at 16 and I'm 5'3" - not a pretty sight.) and hating myself for it at 18 I started taking weight loss pills... that's right, and yes they work for all of you out there wondering. I got down to about 135 (still overweight for my size) and was happy because of course I felt thin(or thinner). But the problem was after I stopped taking them, I started getting fat again because I didn't gain any muscle while loosing the weight.
Well here I am at 24 years old and weighted between 147 & 152 (given the time of month it fluctuated, ladies you understand)... again let myself go and didn't think anything of it. I started doing a little medicine ball working out and maybe a few sit-ups and then feel like I'd done something to make myself better. . . in all reality my body was lying to my brain.
I was still eating crap for food like hot dogs, corn dogs, frozen burritos Stax chips (by the container), lots and lots of chocolate etc... so as you would imagine I had no results.
I opened my big mouth and got into a competition to have the best beach body by June 1st. I sent my friend (yes the one that gave me the jacket) an email saying HELP ME. She is a personal trainer and always always looks fabulous so I thought maybe she'd give me some advise. She didn't just give advise she put on her trainer cap and gave me direct instructions on everything from nutrition to body fat vs muscle and several times used the phrase, I don't care how hard it is DO IT! When I first read the email, I thought wow... how mean! but ... she was right! If I didn't try I'd never get anywhere and if I didn't push myself harder than I thought I could than what is the point.
Well, I'm following her instructions and I have lost 9 lbs (going from the lowest high weight), and a total of 7.5 inches around my waist, hips, thighs. This is only week 6... and I feel amazing.
So as horrible as it sounds the reason I started trying to work out and eat right was because I have a friend who hurt my feelings, and in the same note inspired me to be like her. I have her tough love to thank for what I'm doing. Without her I'd still be sitting here eating chips and candy and packin on the pounds. Thanks to her encouragement week by week I am continually inspired to keep going!
With the sun shining and slowly the snow melting I am reminded of why I need my brain to stop telling my body I can't do it.
I CAN & I WILL .I will look great in a bikini this summer (even if I'm still not comfortable wearing that little of clothing around people and usually hide at my own beach where nobody can see me...at least I'll feel great) and by having a goal, my physical health will be closer to perfection every day.
This is me and CK at Christmas 2012
(no he wasn't happy about getting drug to my family's for Christmas and it shows)